The Pretty Price Check: Your Friday roundup of how much we paid for beauty this week.

Beauty Schooled goes on holiday break starting tomorrow (we’ll be back in full five-post-per-week action come Monday, January 3rd!). And I wanted to leave y’all with a really grand Price Check, just chock full of startling stats and insights. Or at least have some Big Year-End Thoughts About Beauty, like I did last year.

But instead, all I can think about it is this head-exploding concept: MyFreeImplants.com.

I almost wasn’t sure I should link, but then I figured, you’re all adults (or almost, and if you’re not an adult, or just generally a sensitive person, please don’t hold me responsible of you feel scarred by what you find, should you click through). And, you kind of do have to see it to believe it. But in case you don’t want to, here is the gist:

MyFreeImplants.com is an online community. Through this website and our street team, we bring together two groups of people:

• Women that have a strong desire to enhance their physical appearance through cosmetic surgery
• Benefactors who wish to help these women improve their self esteem and confidence through cosmetic surgery

In case you’re not clear yet on how the site brings them together, here are some suggestions for the women:

Women begin by setting up a personal profile listing such common things as:

• Your name (aliases are OK)
• A short bio about yourself
• Physical attributes (eyes, hair, height, weight, etc…)
• Your personal goals as far as what cosmetic surgeries you desire

Along with your bio you can upload an unlimited number of pictures of yourself. These pictures are one of the key components towards achieving your goals.

Are you getting it, yet? Okay then.

So I am not the boss of the universe (sigh),  and it is not for me to say how consenting adults should pass their leisure time, spend their money, or “achieve their goals.” It is also not for me to question these “goals” — as we talk about all the time here, we all have our own ways of chasing the beauty dragon. Implants might be where I draw the line (okay, I probably draw it a few steps back), but that’s just me.

I did take small issue with applying the dictionary definition of the word “goal” to the concept of elective cosmetic surgery. But I just checked and Websters says a goal is “the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.” And these women certainly are going to have to put in effort, seeing how the site also encourages them to send their “benefactors” personal messages, custom photos (with outfits!), videos, and more.

So I guess really, what I’m taking issue with is the use of the word “free.” Okay, your breast implants might not cost you a dime. But the website does emphasize that your goal achievement “all depends on your level of participation. The more time and effort you are willing to put in, the more quickly you will be able to get your implants.”

Sending pictures (“and more!”) to sketchy guys round the clock so they’ll give you money? There is just not one thing about that process that sounds “free” to me.

And on that slightly skin-crawling note, I’d like to wish you all a merry and happy, and I’ll see you back here next year!

PS. If you’re starting to feel stressed out by the whole onslaught of holiday-related foods, go back and read this post. Then have a cookie. Or don’t. Because it’s all going to be fine.

[Photo: “Mexican Breast Augmentation Deal” by permanentlyscatterbrained/eric molina, via Flickr’s Creative Commons pool.]