From the Department of Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin Feels:*

*Except for everything, ever.

Instead of “gorging on calories” this holiday season, The Cut encourages you to “satisfy your sweet tooth in a different, fat-free way,” by purchasing Jane Iredale’s Chocoholicks lip gloss gift set for $44.

Oy.

I guess that’s a helpful diet strategy if you’re sad and hungry like Kate Moss (the pithy wordsmith/awesome role model behind the bons mots above) or working on Ralph Lauren’s Body By Gumby look. The Cut was also talking about the perils of Collagen Cheesecake last week, so it’s possible they’ve never tasted actual chocolate.

But I’m feeling just exhausted by all these beauty products that smell and look like the sugary goodness that women, of course, aren’t supposed to let ourselves eat. (Jessica Simpson’s Dessert line, I’m looking at you.) I don’t know if beauty marketers have decided that I’m just dumb enough to think that a chocolate-scented body lotion is as tasty as the real thing, or if I’m honestly supposed to hate my body so much that I’ll prolong the diet torture by covering it in glop that smells like everything I don’t let myself have.

Whatever the method behind their madness, color me not interested. My plan is to go ahead and enjoy eating some damn food over the holidays. And most other days.

Dear readers, do join me.

Filed under Glossed Over, Happenings, Makeup

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6 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Posted December 21, 2009 at 7:19 pm | Permalink

    Consider me signed up! I loathe chocolate scented beauty products and I actually don’t think they smell good at all. Why smell like it when you could EAT IT?!?
    That is all :)

  2. CANDACE CHATMAN
    Posted April 20, 2011 at 5:49 pm | Permalink

    that sounds like it smells disgusting. I would probably end up getting chocolate just to get the lipgloss off.

4 Trackbacks

  1. [...] up to take the next 12 days off from blogging for Christmas, New Year’s, and the plentiful eating of real chocolate. It’s all good — we’re gearing up for advanced facials after break, and my skin needs [...]

  2. [...] I not made myself clear on this [...]

  3. By Pretty Price Check (12.17.10) | Beauty Schooled on December 17, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    [...] starting to feel stressed out by the whole onslaught of holiday-related foods, go back and read this post. Then have a cookie. Or don’t. Because it’s all going to be [...]

  4. [...] But that won’t stop the diet scam industry from trying to sell you some of these sketch weight loss lollipops. Because these shysters* are jumping on the forbidden food band wagon with all those beauty brands that I am forever lecturing. [...]

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